20-Something Reasons Why I Defriended You
Hey, you! Yeah… you. I know we go way back. Like that time you liked my status about the funny story I told to get out of jury duty. And I thoroughly enjoyed sifting through all of your pics from when you were living abroad. But here’s the deal: it was time to end what we had going on. That’s right. I defriended you on Facebook. Please don’t get too upset. Instead, use this as a learning experience so that your current fan base doesn’t plummet. Below, dear friend, are some of the reasons why I defriended you:
- Your profile picture is the pee stick that confirmed your pregnancy.
- You have strong political opinions in your status updates, none of which I agree with.
- I only accepted your friend request so that I could confirm my life turned out better than yours.
- I don’t care to know what you’re doing every minute of the day.
- Your baby pics (however adorable he is) are clogging up my newsfeed.
- I’m getting really bummed out from your emo song lyrics.
- You’re an ex and I couldn’t care less if we ever spoke again.
- You’re an ex and you look really happy in your pics with the new girl.
- You’re dating my ex.
- Your status updates suck.
- I’m tired of being bombarded with updates about your work-related projects.
- You invite me to too many events.
- You don’t invite me to any of your events.
- I don’t care what you ate… and I don’t want to see it.
- You think it’s okay to talk about your baby’s poo in updates. It’s not.
- We used to be friends in real life and now we’re not. Awkward.
- You have too many inside jokes that I don’t get.
- You’re a creepy friend of a friend who I reluctantly accepted, but turns out you didn’t know my friend either.
- You haven’t updated Facebook since poking was cool.
- To put it simply, it was time for a clean out and you didn’t make the cut.
Any more reasons? Leave them in a comment below!
Photo Credit: Dan Taylor via Flickr