The Bachelorette Recap and Bracket: Sweet 16
I skipped Week One of awkward introductions because 1) men’s fancy outfits are way less fun to analyze and 2) I wanted to return to this crazy journey with a splash. And now that we’re down to sixteen suitors, we can bust out my fabulous colleague Brittany’s inaugural Bachelorette Bracket!*
Simply fill out your choices before next Monday’s adventure to participate and then check back here on Tuesdays for the standings!
I won’t tell you my favorites so far, as I don’t want to influence your oh-so-important bracket completion decisions, but let’s do examine just a few of the “tests” on last night’s man-fest.
- The Cookie Test. Instead of helicopters or cave diving, the very first date on this season saw Ryan unloading groceries, baking cookies, sitting in the car while Emily dropped said cookies off at soccer practice (speaking of which, I am pretty sure we only got treats at actual soccer games) and fielding serious questions at a dinner and a show date also attended by a good portion of the city of Charlotte. Although no one in my viewing room thought Ryan seemed at all excited by his day-in-the-life date, Emily liked his whisk skills and gave him the date rose. Wonder what his pastor will advise if he makes it all the way to the Fantasy Suite?
- The Muppet Test. Last season’s first group date also featured an odd performance attended by a hometown audience – that’s what we’re doing now, ABC? This was a very odd forty minutes of flirting with puppets, awkward singing and dancing and reminding us that Emily’s a mom (really, we get it). Jef proposed to Miss Piggy, ignored Emily and snagged a rose. It can’t hurt that he looks a bit like a potential Muppet character.
- The Clock Test. The next one-on-one date went to Joe, who did get whisked off in a plane to… West Virginia, site of Emily’s first makeover, for swimming and dining in a fancy hotel. Joe’s love clock wish to return to WV and meet Emily’s parents won’t come true as he failed to get the date rose. Cut to fireworks for one.
Our favorite fashion of the night: Miss Piggy rocked a winning Project Runway All-Stars design (reality franchises unite)!
Saying goodbye: Aaron was cute but his on-again, off-again glasses, biology/chemistry pickup line and teachers’ salary weren’t enough to impress the Bachelorette. I know nothing about Kyle, save that he lists one of his favorite movies as The Notebook. Guess Em’s not a Gosling fan.
Dark Horse: Long-locked rehab counselor Michael has had very little screen time – here’s hoping he pulls a Jamie and gives Emily a poolside kissing lesson a few episodes down the road!
*Inspiration for the Bachelorette Bracket comes from Kingsbury Factor, who also posts weekly Bachelor(ette) recaps.
Featured Image Photo Credit: ABC
